Fateful Findings - 2013 - Neil Breen -

Upon its initial release in 2013, Fateful Findings played in a handful of indie theaters to baffled audiences. It wasn't until the rise of Reddit and YouTube reviewers (like RedLetterMedia and yourmoviesucksdotorg) that the film found its cult status.

Today, Fateful Findings is considered the "Citizen Kane of Bad Movies." Unlike a cynical cash-grab like The Room (which was an attempt at a serious drama that failed), or Birdemic (which was an attempt at a thriller that failed), Fateful Findings sits in a sui generis category. Neil Breen genuinely believes he is a visionary. He believes the shaky zooms are artistic. He believes that having a woman weep for five minutes while holding a note is profound.

This sincerity is the secret sauce. You cannot mock Fateful Findings cruelly, because Breen is not laughing with you. He is out there, right now, probably editing his sixth film, convinced he is saving cinema. That commitment to the bit—even though the bit is madness—makes the film a masterpiece. Fateful Findings - 2013 - Neil Breen

Without ruining the absolute chaos, the climax involves Dylan giving a press conference on a rainy lawn. He announces he is going to expose the world’s secrets using the laptops. The corrupt officials try to stop him. A character spontaneously falls down stairs. Another dies via sudden vomiting.

And then? A literal deus ex machina. The stone circle glows. A laser shoots into the sky. Dylan walks away holding hands with his ghost girlfriend. Upon its initial release in 2013, Fateful Findings

It makes zero sense. It is perfect.

Use these for a post-movie debate:

Neil Breen writes, directs, produces, funds, edits, and stars in all of his films. In Fateful Findings, he plays Dylan, a brilliant novelist/researcher/technomancer who, as a child, made a pact with a mystical, glowing, pagan-esque stone circle in the woods. The deal? Limitless knowledge.

Fast forward to adulthood. Dylan is married to a successful but shrewish businesswoman (played with stiff dread by Breen’s real-life spouse). He spends his days hacking into government databases on a laptop that looks like it runs Windows 95, all while wearing a leather jacket and a thousand-yard stare. Neil Breen genuinely believes he is a visionary

One day, after a literal car crash (the editing here is… abrupt), Dylan gains the ability to see the “other side.” He can now magically heal people with a touch and access classified secrets. He uses this power not to fight crime, but to expose corrupt pharmaceutical companies and government conspiracies by... typing aggressively.

Is it a comedy? Is it a thriller? The beauty of Fateful Findings lies in its sincerity.