Gail Bates | - Harsh Punishment For Thieving Baby...

How do you enact "harsh punishment" on a baby who doesn’t understand the concept of a prison sentence? You don't. You deploy the ultimate parental weapons of mass distraction.

Gail’s sentence for the thieving baby was swift and "unrelenting":

It was a punishment so harsh, it reduced the baby to tears—mostly from laughing so hard at the tickle torture, and a little bit from the indignity of having to eat vegetables. Gail Bates - Harsh Punishment For Thieving Baby...

While Gail’s post was purely tongue-in-cheek, it resonated with thousands of parents who read it. Why? Because the "baby thief" phase is a universal parenting milestone.

Psychologists tell us that babies and toddlers don't steal out of malice. They steal because they are tiny scientists exploring cause and effect. "If I take this shiny spoon and hide it under the rug, will it disappear forever? Let's find out." Furthermore, they lack "object permanence"—if they want something, they believe they must hold it immediately, or it ceases to exist. How do you enact "harsh punishment" on a

Of course, knowing the psychology behind it doesn't make it any less frustrating when you're late for work and you can't find your car keys because a tiny dictator decided they belong in the toilet.

Let us assume for a moment that a local news station, desperate for ratings, ran a story titled "Gail Bates Demands Harsh Punishment For Thieving Baby." It was a punishment so harsh, it reduced

Furthermore, if Gail Bates attempted to enforce her "harsh punishment" physically (spanking, locking the baby in a room), she would face felony child abuse charges. The joke, therefore, is on Gail.